Revert
by EmilyLeung
Summary: King Caspian is overthrown by a King maker. I am told to be someone else. I am told that I was the High King's lover, and he's returned. I am told of many. But I am not. But then I don't really remember anything.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

In this grey spring morning, the songbirds sang a different tune. They were mourning, pleading in some way. It was cloudy. It was said in the books that all of them could talk, some of them were even spies for the Witch. Those stories were always fascinating.

He hadn't been here last night, I'd expected it. The bed was cold.

He must be in another chamber, dealing with the politicians, playing a game that he had no say about any single thing. But maybe he could be in the garden, looking over the entire kingdom, being terrified as he always was. I hoped he was in the garden.

So the uncle turned out to be more than a knight appointed by the old fair king, but also a secret king maker. And a boy was made, not destined nor fated, a king.

I got up, found a dress on the desk with a card. Damien wrote the card himself, apologised for not staying. The raven dress was the compensation. I put it on and set off to find Damien.

The corridors were dark, lit by fire torches. People in armour came and went, nodding. The brick was cold, and I opened a window. There was nothing but Sire Jordan's army out in the ground, training with swords and blades. It was sad to look, so I walked away.

The dining chamber was empty. Damien was not here. I went up to the towers where the library located. It used to belong to the old king's professor. It was the first place Damien found after we moved in, and it was his safe heaven.

There. He was sitting in front of the desk with a quill in his hand. He was scribbling fast. The light was landing on his jet black hair from the window.

"I am going down, I am," he said without looking up.

"I can bring you breakfast up here," I said.

"Nah, I'll just be there soon, honey," Damien said, "Sire Jordan wants army permission, he thinks the giants are planning something and he wants to attack first. I honestly don't think the giant from the West would do anything, unless we attack them of course. And Sire Oscar wants to raise taxes on the people, I've said no for more than three times last night . He's been persisting."

"I will bring you breakfast up here," I said.

"No, just," Damien put down his pen and looked at me. His eyes were very red. "I want to eat with you. I haven't spend any time with you for the entire week, and I think I'm going insane."

I smiled.

"Come and sit with me," Damien said. We sat down on the couch. His arms were around me, his face pressed against my neck."You're very beautiful in this dress."

"Thank you," I said.

"Last night was mad."

"Every night is mad," I said. He kissed me.

"Sire Oscar is more impatient than I thought. He had his eyes on me for the entire night, and eventually invited his daughter to dance with me. She has the genes of the trolls, and she stepped on me for more than twenty times for just a dance," Damien said, "when

she kissed my cheek when we were walking in the garden, and I was like - " he made a sound of vomiting. I laughed.

"I think you should marry her."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Damien replied. He didn't speak for a while and I thought he'd fallen asleep.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke again, "this is just terrible. And I miss you."

We went back into the dining chamber soon, and breakfast was put neatly on the table. Damien handed the signed papers to Nigel, or Nathaniel, I could not remember his name.

Damien continued to make to some complaints about Sire Oscar and how his daughter was trying to eat him up the previous night. Sire Oscar was a beefy man who invited Damien to his daugher's birthday party last night. Damien had no choice but to go since Sire Oscar had provided lots of man when they were chasing the old king away.

He held my hand when he ate, and I caught him studying me. He put the mushroom in his dish to mine, and just smiled at me before resuming his speech.

"He would do anything to have me married his daughter," Damien said, followed by a heavy sigh.

I nodded, patting his warm hand.

"But you know I won't say yes," Damien gawked at me, "I'll fight, and I won't stop fighting until there is a way that I can marry you."

"You're the king, whatever you say," I said. I lived in the castle with Damien. I grew up with him and his mother, who died some time ago before Uncle Jordan found us.

"Where do you reckon he is?" Damien asked, "I've always been thinking about it."

"The maids said King Caspian the Tenth fled into the woods where they're protected by many. You surely won't go after them?"

"If I can help it," Damien said. "You know how I feel about it."

We, they - Sire Jordan started a revolt and overthrown King Caspian with the help of many sires and troops. The Narnians were exiled again. They fought in the name of Damien, a nobody who became somebody within one night.

"He will survive," I said, "he is Caspian the Tenth, he fought battles with the Old Kings and Queens."

"I know," Damien said. He looked at the table edge, playing with the table cloth. "I have to marry you. This is so much, you're like, like the only person who has not got insane in this time."

"I do not care about that," I said. "We'll be happy. You've only been put to throne for two weeks, it will work out. You're just not used to life in the castle. You've been very quiet these two weeks."

Damien smiled, "You always say the right words, honey. I just didn't know what to say when we first arrived here. Living in the castle! That's still mad for me."

He leaned in to kiss me when someone knocked the door. Damien turned and glared at the servant who burst in.

"What is it, Nathaniel?" he asked, trying to master his impatience. Being King changed him, he used to be - frankly, I did not clearly remember how he used to be. The wars and this bloody revolt bothered me too much lately. I remembered the smell of the sea though, always.

"Sire Jordan wishes to see you" Nathaniel said. "Right now."

"Ask him to wait," Damien said, picked up his fork again.

"He said it was urgent," Nathaniel said in a frightened voice."He said some of his men had spotted a girl in the woods."

"He and his men spot many girls everyday and I do not wish to be bothered," Damien said casually.

"But this is no every girl -"

"Speak up!" Damien paused, pulling himself together and sat up. "I am sorry for my rudeness, I had a weary night."

Nathaniel went pale.

"Please speak up," I added. "It's okay, he's not normally moody."

"Sire Jordon's people spotted a woman with the ancient Narnian bow and arrows, given evident that she might be the Old -"

"Nonsense," Damien said, "they've gone. Aslan said they were not coming back. I was in the square."

"Sire Jordan would like to explain in detail," Nathaniel said.

"But Sire Jordan knows this is ridiculous as well, right?" I said. "They're not coming back. The books, everybody say that."

"At least the High King and the Gentle Queen are not returning. I was very young when I saw them walk through the tree," Damien said.

"I am sure you can put up with one more nonsense," I said to Damien, "and then we could go somewhere, maybe to the orphanage?"

"One more, just one more," Damien said. "Send him in."

After Nathaniel went out, Damien asked me if there was anything I wanted to do on my seventeen birthday. I didn't have any plans so he suggested going to picnic. He was very happy with this idea and suggested all kind of locations.

"It will be a surprise," Damien smiled, it lit up his face.

Sire Jordan came in. He was a skinny man with grey hair and hawk eyes. You'd never know what he was thinking, and he was always thinking. Damien was not scared of him, he would say so when the sun was up. But he was terrified. He would talk about him at night before I fell asleep, and he'd tell me his worries in a shaky voice.

"It's too easy for him to start a new dynasty and a new rule," Damien said one night. "I am sitting on the throne but in the end of the day, he'd decide if I could wake up the next day. Nothing he creates is real. Nothing he makes lasts. And I am -"

Of course Damien could not bring himself to talk about what could have happened if Sire Jordan got bored with him.

Sire Jordan's beady eyes dotted at me as he positioned himself in front of us. He didn't like me, it was a common knowledge between us. But he was also the one who insisted I should stay in the castle with Damien.

"Good morning, Uncle Jordan," Damien greeted. "And, why in Aslan's name do you have to see me so early in the morning while you've known how tiresome last night went? Do you have joy seeing me suffer?"

He did, I was sure.

"We are facing an absolute threat and my dear king is still in his dining chamber with his beloved! That woman held bow and arrows and killed one of my men. She is Queen Susan, my men recognised her very existence. She was in the woods when we found her," Sire Jordan exclaimed.

"Did she get away?" Damien asked.

"Unfortunately yes," Sire Jordan's voice was calm and soft again. "Next time, she would not."

"Well, many people fled to the woods, including young girls and women. You cannot be absolutely sure about -"

"She blew her horn and replied by many howling of wolves. Moments later, the wolves were surrounding my men!"

"Meaning?" Damien poked the food on his dish.

"Meaning the Old Kings and Queens are uniting with the force of Caspian, and at the moment, they are hiding in the Western Woods. I'd say we should attack right now, to prevent more loss of men." Sire Jordan said.

I snorted, "You've spotted a girl and you claim she is the Queen. There is no evident they're building any secret army."

"You'll learn some respect before you speak again!" Sire Jordan snarled at my honesty. "After all, I am the one who allowed you to stay in the castle and have you being treated as a lady."

"Uncle Jordan," Damien said in a loud and stern voice, "I am appointed the King of Narnia. I suppose you remember the law I made day I've arrived? You will pay the equal respect to the Lady of Cair Paravel as you pay to me," Damien said kingly. I wouldn't have said any more words if he was looking at me like this.

Sire Jordan crinkled his nose before lying his eyes on me again. The great amount of hatred and despise was absolutely visible.

"Well, well, well. Of course, my dear nephew," Sire Jordan said. "My apologises, my lady."

"You shall leave until I call to see you again," King Damien said. "Leave us in peace, uncle. There will not be any detecting work on that woman. How old is she?"

"About your lady's age," Sire Jordan licked his dry lips. "she is a threat, and if she hurts our men again, I will capture her."

"Leave us."

The room was quiet once again. Damien continued to poke his food with his fork.

"He's going to find her."

"He won't let it go."

We spoke together as the pacing of Sire Jordan died away. Damien covered his eyes with one of his hands for a moment before looking at his food again.

"You can leave the food there if you don't want to eat," I said.

"Nah, I'll just - I don't trust him," Damien said. "I want to believe that girl though."

"Who? Queen Susan?"

"If it's really her. Like, if they are here, they will have a way to end this," Damien said. "They could find a way to, I don't know -"

"You must not say this again!" I said. "Do not let anyone hear you say this, you don't know who are Sire Jordan's spies in the castle. If he knows, or he suspects you or anything, he will kill you. You are King of this land right now, Damien!"

"I know," Damien said. "I am just saying those Kings and Queens will know exactly what to do. They've brought peace to Narnia twice and maybe they're the only people who knows how to rule this kingdom fairly with justice. Don't you get it? Aslan chose them. People love them, the Narnians did! And people here obeyed to King Caspian so naturally. They are the real royalties. I should go back and live in the forest."

"Damien - "

"I could be dead any moment! Any moment as long as Uncle wants," Damien stood up, walking away to the window. "I don't ever get to choose, do I?"

I heard Damien's heavy breathing, and later realised he was panting. I put my hand on his shoulder, turned him around and saw a scared boy with water in his raven eyes.

"Why doesn't he just take the throne himself?" He was trembling.

"Because he doesn't want to be overthrown himself?" I said. "A king maker can always make hundred kings without having himself overthrown. But you're more than this. You're - "

"I've been thinking about something," Damien said, his hands were on my face, "we immigrate to the Lone Island. Just the two of us. Away from these and we don't have to be scared every night."

"We can't," I tried to keep my voice firm. "You said it yourself that we are the only people who can protect those who cannot protect themselves. We are the last defence. Think about all those people. How would the tax be without you trying to stop Sire Oscar?"

"I don't want to stay here," Damien said.

"Don't worry about it," I hugged him.

When he pulled back, something was very different on his face. "I have to tell you something. It's about what happened that night."

"What - oh, the night when Sire Jordan trooped into the castle."

"I've been meaning to talk about this," Damien paused. "I just don't want you find out that night from the maids or anyone. I don't want you to think like I seized anything that doesn't belong to me, 'cause I am not, and I need you to know the truth of what happened. I thought keeping myself occupied could stop myself thinking about it."

"Did it work?"

Damien smiled briefly before looking at me, "not exactly as well as I've planned."

"I was," I tried to remember that night, I remembered some stars. "I was sleeping that night, wasn't I?"

"I suppose so," Damien said. "Uncle Jordan called me to his room, and Sire Oscar was there. 'Here comes the man at the moment, the new Narnian king' he said. The knights there, those man who gained King Caspian's trust and betrayed him, stood there around the table. And there was this loud horn sound and the man roared. The knights got back to the field and I saw many men in armours. They rode to the castle. I didn't want to, I tried to run away. Sire Jordan tied me to a horse and rode into the city with me. We rode and kept riding.

"When we arrived, King Caspian thought it was the nobles and knight's gathering - he opened the gate for us! There were children and women and old people. There were torches and fire then. I remembered those, those," Damien grabbed my hand very tightly, "blood, and screaming. I was scared, it was messy there. I lost Uncle Jordan then, and I got off my horse for some reason, but I kept it with me. I've found a dungeon, and I stayed there. I offered Caspian the horse.

"The next day, somebody found me. When I went out, it was - there were bodies of everyone. And there were kids like Nadia, many of them, crying. They shouted 'Long Live King Damien' but I didn't even know what was happening! I couldn't go out for the past weeks. The city and everything...people died and, and I think I am going to any -

Damien stopped speaking. He was shaking. I held him when he cried, and I realised how much I wanted that woman to be the Queen so she'd come and save us.

I looked at Damien, stroked his hair.

"You will die in my bed, surrounded by your grandchildren. That's the only thing I believe."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Nadia was hopping around the lawn, passing the apples to anyone on her way. There were kids, about fifteen of them. Some were catching the butterflies, and Damien was messing around in the shallow river.

The sun was shining over head, warmer and brighter than it did in the morning. It made the water sparkle. Damien, damp, was tickling a blonde girl, splashing water everywhere.

I sat in the distanced shore with bare feet in the water. I heard them laugh. Was this Damien was the same person back in the tower?

It had been some hours ago since I had seen Damien cry. It was terrible to watch, terrible to think. The burning towers and those bodies. I kicked the water and realised some children were staring at me. I forced a smile.

I wondered about that woman. If it wasn't the Kings and Queens, then where could they be right now? Were they happy? How about the Duchess? Duchess Grace. King Peter. Queen Susan. King Edmund. Queen Lucy. These were very familiar names coming from history books.

Thinking about them and realising they were not here was painful.

I watched a few more splashing battle before the babysitters came and Damien called it a day. Nadia, pouting, asked if they could stay a little bit longer, but Damien insisted since most of the children were exhausted. He hugged every one of the kids and watched them walk off.

"You'll be a fine king and a fine father," I said as he sat down next to me.

"I thought you were having fun as well," Damien said. He lay down on the lawn.

"I had a lot of fun watching you," I said. "Especially when those three boys defeated you."

"I saw you laugh," Damien said. "But come on, there were three of them!"

"You're a grown up. They are kids."

"I was gentle."

I snorted, and heard Damien laughed.

"Do you remember we used to spend afternoons like this?" Damien asked.

"I can't remember clearly," I said. "But I remember going to the sea, and walking in the beach."

"Walking in the beach, wow even I don't remember," Damien said, "we could go to some beach again sometimes, maybe, um, I'll plan that."

"Did you see Nadia?" Damien spoke again.

"Of course, she gave me fruit," I said.

"She is very lovely, isn't she?"

"That night when the revolt happened was the night that made you decide to build this orphanage?"I asked.

"These are children of those nobles and Sires who remained loyal to King Caspian. They could not bring their family when they fled. I have to, don't I? They can't grow up without anyone, they're not us." Damien said.

"No, you had a choice, to not building it," I said. "You chose otherwise. You're a great man. You'll be a great king."

"Why do you keep calling me king while you do not really want me to be in the throne?" Damien asked. "It's very confusing sometimes.'

"It's the only way to keep you alive, and do not address King Caspian as King back in the castle. Please."

"Do you think we could ever go into the woods to make peace?" I asked since he didn't speak.

Damien sat up. "I know what you're thinking, and going in to the woods is suicidal. I can't just walk in and apologise."

"But I can," I said. "Once you appointed me Queen. I can walk in and ask for peace. They will listen. King Caspian, and even, the old royalties there, will not harm a woman."

"No."

"But think about it -"

"Emma, I said no." It was a whisper. Damien dropped his rigid gaze. "Let's head back."

Damien pulled me very close to him when we went back into the castle. I wished the orange light could find a way to seep through the hard walls. Damien attended another meeting, he spoke to me before he left.

"I will appoint you queen," Damien said and kissed me. "I will propose to you, and I'll do that because I love you. You must promise me not to do anything foolish if I proposed."

I nodded and he soon walked away. It became a deserted, dark corridor. I dragged myself away and stayed in the library until it was time for dinner. There was a painting there, my favourite painting. I always looked at it when I was alone. I felt like I should just look at it when I was alone.

It was a painting of the High King. His back was facing me, without his crown. He was looking out at the night sea alone in the shore. The moon was above the water, bright and creamy; the waves were calm. I thought he was looking at something else. Everything was in perfect blue. A sad kind of blue. Including the King himself.

"The Foxes painted the picture when the High King's lady left. He stood in the beach near the Western Woods alone when the city was celebrating. She left silently, the night before the gathering in the square," Damien told me once. "That's the Duchess, Duchess Grace."

"Why?"

"Timing. Aslan's will. For the better good. I don't know," Damien said. "I liked the Duchess very much and I swore that I'd marry her someday. She left."

"I hope I am not very disappointing," I said.

"You know your price."

I wished the King in the picture felt less lonely by my company. I left the tower nevertheless, thinking how the High King would be missing her.

People said he loved her dearly.

Damien did not have supper with me, and he did not return until midnight. When he did, his hair was dripping water, but he didn't care and sank into the bed.

"Why didn't any of the royalties become lunatic?" he asked me.

"You just don't know that, maybe they have," I replied. Damien burst out laughing.  
"Emma," Damien's face was close to mine, "I'm in love with you."

"I am aware of that, love" I whispered. "Tell me about the Duchess."

"Why?"

"I am interested in her," I replied, "that's why."

"Her name is Emma as well, but people call her Duchess Grace, because everyone was happy when she was near. Aslan named her that. She didn't defeat the White Witch, but she, for some reason, came from another world and joined the Old Kings and Queens to defeat Miraz."

"And the King loved her," I said. Damien pulled me closer, he smelled like parchment.

"Very much. He almost married her, but Aslan said something else," Damien replied, "it's just history. Why?"

"I am curious," I said. "How about -"

"Let's just drop this for a night."

And so, I didn't ask then. Damien closed his eyes and leaned closer to me. His breathing was slow and warm. I touched his face, and his lips. It suddenly became awfully unfamiliar. But it was the same person. Just like knowing the songbird changed a tune to one that you did not recognise, but it was sang by the same bird. It was the same person.

I woke up looking at distanced red in the sky. Damien was snoring next to me, his arm pinned me. I stayed motionless. I had a strange dream.

I dreamt of being in that shore near the Western Woods, where the paint became sounded moving water, and the High King stood in front me. The moon was beautiful; and for that silent moment I shared with him, I felt like soaring in the cold wind.

He was grieving. He couldn't bear to return to the celebration, so he stayed at bay and stared at the sea where his love walked into, where Aslan brought her back to her home. He did not know if she was safe; he was taught to trust Aslan though.

The King wondered if she was happy. He prayed that she was happy though he wasn't. He didn't want her to go. He was bitter, frustrated by Aslan's decision but he did not show it. Too scared to show it.

She didn't have to go. He neither.

I did not know why or how I knew all of it, but it was _my_ dream, so I supposed I would know things. In some way, I must have imagined what I dreamt.

The King turned around. He did not see me. His eyes were lost. He walked through me and he vanished within thin air. I woke up then.

I closed my eyes again and could not sleep until sunlight glared at me. Damien was dressing up.

"Good morning. The bird sings vigorously this morning," he said. "It'll be a lovely day, won't it?"

"I am very tired."

"Stop rubbing your eyes and go back to sleep then," Damien's voice was gentle. "Do take a walk in the garden later. Spring arrived eventually."

"When He shakes his mane, we shall have spring again."

"What did you say?" Damien sat on the bed, stroked my cheek. "Darling, you were mumbling."

"Just something my friend used to say."

"What friend? You've made a friend that I don't know," Damien frowned, "you should have introduced me. This is boring in the castle."

"I am not quite sure. Imaginary friend I suppose," I said.

"Um, okay." Damien nodded, "anyway, if you're going to the garden, I'll leave Nathaniel with you. I don't want you to be alone in the castle since Sire Oscar is coming in today. I am not fond of him."

"No you hate him," I added.

Damien laughed, "hate him and don't know how to deal with him. Do not let any politician worry you. I am very lost, but I am sensible enough to not to drag you into this."

"Goodbye Damien. Have a nice day," I kissed him before he left.

I was having my meal and Nathaniel, the young man who was standing in near the table, was watching me.

"Why don't you take a seat?" I asked, "you can have some of the food. I will not finish it anyway."

"His Grace did ask the kitchen to cook less in order to save the food for the children in the orphanage. He asked us to sneak the spare food in, unnoticed by other nobles," Nathaniel said.

"Sit down, Nathaniel," I said. "I would like a company."

"I shall not take my seat," Nathaniel said. "I am in no place of positioning myself near you, for it is believed that you will be queen soon and I do not deserve your kindness."

"Will making I, a queen, occupy me more than just being a lady in the castle? This is frustrating to not have any friends, but to stay in."

"You shall be -" Nathaniel didn't speak then.

"Nathaniel, I've finished." I said. "Take a bread, and the milk. You can have them. I assure you did not have breakfast yet, it's still early"

"No I -"

"I insist."

"Thank you, Your Grace."

"I am no queen. Take me to the garden for a walk, I would like to breathe," I said. Nathaniel drank the milk and pocketed the bread before we made our way out of the room.

"Tax is very important to a nation, young king!"

"Except, Sire Oscar, this is a country with multi nations. The Narnians have their place here even though they are in the woods ," I heard Damien's voice.

"And - ah."  
Sire Oscar stopped in front of our way. Damien looked at me with a weak face.

"Here comes the spoiled woman who lived on the people's tax," Sire Oscar said.

"This is the future queen you're addressing," Damien said in a clear voice.

"The future q- wait, something must be very wrong. She could not be crowned! My daughter is a fine, _fine _lady of court with well education and manner, who would _greet_ when meeting the King and the nobles," Sire Oscar said, "not someone in a fancy dress!"

"Emma and I shared an intimacy that makes greeting unnecessary. This is one bond, however, that I did not share with your daughter, and is one that does not require any party or social. And I am well aware of what a fine lady and dancer she is," Damien said, he had a playful smile on his lips, "Nathaniel, where are you proceeding?"

"The library, your grace," Nathaniel said.

"I will see you around in the castle," Damien placed a kiss on my hand before leading Sire Oscar away, who looked like he was about to puke with a purple face.

"Let's go to the library then," I said. We walked into the tower and ascending the stairs.

"They were walking towards the garden, aren't they?" I asked.

"Yes, Your Grace. Just now, I had to lie," Nathaniel said.

"You're a good liar," I complimented and reached the library. I found a boring book, but it had nice pictures and map inside. Nathaniel opened the windows.

"I've told many lies to reach this stage of being able to serve you," Nathaniel said.

"That's fascinating," I said.

"Forgive me, you were not listening, Your Grace."

I smiled, put the book back into the shelf. "I should not be in this room. Because I had a funny dream last night after looking at that picture behind you. I think it has magic."

Nathaniel turned around and looked at the painting, which seemed to be decoloured today.

"That's the picture of King Peter," Nathaniel said. "You ought to have funny dream about it."

"King Peter looking at the sea for what? That's Aslan's will. She is not coming back, is she?"

"Aslan didn't exile her," Nathaniel said, "I was in the square ten years ago. I was fifteen."

"What did He say?"

"They will learn more about love in the future, learn about love and experience it deep. Separation is only the beginning, that's what He said. The High King never doubted Aslan though the Duchess did. But Aslan promised to reveal himself to her."

"But he was hurt, wasn't he?"

"If he was, he'd never shown it," Nathaniel said. "But you ought to know, don't you? Anything, do you know?"

"Why would I know any?"

Nathaniel opened his mouth, but he closed it right away.

"Nathaniel, are you okay? You look like you're falling ill," I said. I stood up. "Come and take my seat. You need some rest. I am sorry if Damien ever tortured you with too much hard work. Don't worry, I will speak to him about it."

"No Your Grace," he said, stepping back. "I am not - I am - I must make a confession."

"Go on. I know you will not hurt me," I said. I smiled to him.

"I cannot tell you a lot. I cannot reveal the truth of all lies. Your Grace, you're a kind lady," Nathaniel started to stuttered.

"I am nobody."

"I am King Caspian's best friend," Nathaniel was staring at the carpet. "I chose to stay because I wanted to keep an eye for him in the city. But then, my plan was discovered and I was told to do something else. I mean no harm to you! I did not have a choice."

"Nobody gets to choose in the city," I said. "but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I just - can't - tell - you," Nathaniel looked like he was panting. "I took a vow, the Vow. Do you remember the Vow? The one you made and you have to keep or you die."

"Of course, I've heard of it somewhere," I said, "but I could not remember when."

"I took that, and I can't really break it. If I died, no one would take care of the little Caspian - I mean, he's not even married yet! But look here," Nathaniel strode to the cupboard and threw out books to the table. _A Flat Art Gallery of Narnia: A view from the Centaurs. Painting of the Ancient Time by the Narnians. King and the Duchess - Great Love in the Battlefield._ A Guide of the War Against Miraz. And there were some more books. Nathaniel stood before the table and started flipping through the pages like a lunatic.

"I've been meaning to find you these, but I couldn't since I was watched before. But then, yesterday I asked His Grace if you'd like to walk in the garden and that you might need someone to protect you, and so here I am. Look at these -"

He showed me some painting of the Duchess and the King drawn by many great artists in Narnia. Some of them were the two of them looking at each other. Most of them were drawn in the woods.

"Nice colour choice," I commented.

"Do you not remember anything?" Nathaniel said in a slightly loud and emotional voice. "Any single bit of him?"

"The High King? Of course I remember, he was in love with Duchess," I said airily, "what are you trying to show me?"

"Look at the picture," Nathaniel shoved one of the books to me. It was a painting of the High King. His crown was placed neatly on his blonde hair. He held his sword kingly."Look closely."

"He was a very looking man," I said.

"No," Nathaniel moaned. "What has he done? No listen, Your Grace, can you just - We have to go."

The approaching footsteps were louder as Nathaniel needled the books back onto the shelves. I'd helped.

"It's Sire Jordan. Could be. Do not let him see us. We leave from the back door? Yes the back door will be safe. It has to be safe." I thought Nathaniel was terrified

I looked at the painting on the wall again before Nathaniel dragged me to the door with quiet apologies. I wished the High King would just turn around.

We stumbled down the stairs and arrived the empty garden. Flowers were blossoming. Life was vivid here.

"Does she not look like anyone to you?" Nathaniel panted. "You have to remember!"

"Sadly no, the painting blurs my mind," I replied. Nathaniel dropped his speech then, and strode in the beautiful garden with me with a miserable expression.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Nathaniel was a good servant, a very nice friend. He was proven a nice and mysterious company these days while Damien was occupied with different meetings and parties. I had not been to the library since the day he showed me those books.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Nathaniel," Damien said. He was reading on the desk. The dim candle light flickered as cold breeze came in. He had a late night meeting later.

"Yes, and that is because you're busy. I thought you assigned him to follow me," I said, unfolding the duvet.

"Indeed."

"Are you jealous?"

"I am certainly not-," Damien let out a big sigh and I heard him put down his quill. "I suppose I am. I would gladly change my position with him. Walking in the garden with you is always enjoyable."

"Damien?" I said on the bed, looking at his back.

They were very different, weren't they? Both Kings of Narnia; Peter had always been energetic even in the late evening after all sort of work in the day. He'd go to watch the stars or walk within the woods.

He was King Peter, I had to remind myself.

"Damien could you turn around?" I said. He did, but he wasn't looking at me.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to spend some time together tomorrow? I want to." I said.

"I don't know if I can -"

"Hey," I said slowly. I went to him and sat on his laps. "Do you want to? You look exhausted. We can go to the orphanage, or somewhere else. Just to get away from here."

"Staying with you is getting away," Damien's finger traced my neck. "They are very troublesome, both my uncle and Sire Oscar. I think the troops are having serious hallucinations. They keep claiming they saw something in the Western Woods. I think it's a plot planned by Uncle, to pressure me for the permission to march in."

"But you do know there are many of Narnians and Telmarines in the woods. King Caspian's there."

"Every night I prayed to Aslan, that the Western Woods would be big enough so the troops would not find anyone," Damien said, closing his eyes as I touched his face. "Sometimes I wonder if the trees are helping again. Maybe they are shifting places so as to hide the Narnians."

"And surely He will answer your prayer," I said. "He'll never fail you."

"You truly believe that or you believe it because it's the only thing you have?" Damien said.

"It's a very difficult question to answer, but I think I believe both," I said.

"People keep saying they are back," Damien said, he kissed my palm. "All four of them. They're training the army inside, but if it's true, what is keeping them from attacking? The High King was a fast striking man, the History said so. If he has arrived, they would have attacked by now. What are they waiting for?"

"Do you want to have a walk in the Garden Thifa with me?" I asked. "It has a beautiful night view and you can go to the meeting later."

"Of course."

The garden was empty. It was one of my favourite gardens. The flowers were blossoming beautifully, and the moonlight made them even more so. I blew out the candle in my lamp, and I blew out Damien's.

"You surely know here very well," Damien said, he took my hand and we blew out more candles and lamp in the torches in the garden. I dared not to look at the moon.

"This garden was originally named Garden Faith," I told him as we ambled among the flowers.

"And they changed to some ancient Narnia language then?"

"Frankly, no," I shook my head, we stopped as Damien crouched down looking at the roses. "Caspian renamed it. He called it Thifa garden, swapped the spelling of the word 'faith'."

"Why did he do that?"

"Because Queen Lucy had taught him to have faith even in the most unlikely time and situation, and he wanted this name to remind himself," I said. We resumed our journey.

"Who told you that?"

"Nathaniel. He was King Caspian's best friend," I said. "He is a man with many difficulties, but he is a trusted man though."

"I know," Damien said, "and he misses his lady."

"Who?"

"He called her Rosie," Damien said.

"He's never told me that," I said.

"You shall have something to talk about tomorrow then," Damien said. I looked around, I saw knights looking for Damien.

"I will see you sooner than I think, won't I? The meeting will end very quickly, I - I'll try to make it quick," Damien said after kissing me.

I nodded before he held his head high and left, disappeared into a crowd of waiting people. I returned to my room and lay on the bed. I wished the night would end soon. If it didn't, I'd remember Damien's face when he was to leave the garden.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. "Everybody is sleeping."

"Hey!" he turned around quickly and whispered. "Turn off the light."

"But it'll be dark!" she replied with obvious doubt in her voice.

He pointed at the moon and since she was still frowning at him, he strode forward and puffed at the light.

"And what is this?" she asked him. He took the torch and put it on the ground. He walked to a tree which had huge roots and the top was far beyond their heads.

"Come on," he said. She was still doubtful but he had a genuine smile on his face when he looked at her.

"You're not trying to tease at me from whatever this is, are you? Just like what you did with Edmund in the morning," she questioned.

"Just come on."

He helped her to climb over the tree tangled roots, and they sat on the top, back on the large tree trunk. This smelled very woody. Sometimes they could hear the pace of Minotaurs or the trots of the Centaurs.

She looked up through the spaces of the leaves and gazed at the stars - she would never see such amount of stars back to her home. She looked at him, and saw him closed his eyes.

"Are you going to fall asleep here?"She asked.

"No," he said.

"But then what -"

"I'm listening," he said, "to the trees. They used to speak, and dance. I knew one faun, Mr Tumnus. He could play amazing music, and of course make the perfect tea. He'd play his flute, and the entire forest would dance and dance and on until their feet hurt. Lucy was his best friend."

"Listening to them for what?"

"Their reason for not moving, I know they, I don't care how small that part is, can hear us. They always did, and they'd shaded us when we were having picnics or sheltered us when it was raining. They were alive! And if by any chance I can figure out why they're not moving, then I might be able to wake them! They can help us. They can, I am sure of it," he said.

"You were sure of many things, like the direction to the woods and calling Caspian the evil Telmarine," she said pointedly.

He didn't look at her.

"It's so easy how you guys befriend here. Everybody is loyal to you," she said later. "Some of them are happy even in a battle. So hopeful."

"Are you not happy back in your world? I supposed everyone would be happy - you said we won the War! I cannot imagine how England would be in your time," he said.

"It's a ugly world," she said, she did not take her eyes off the stars. "I am, was a model, working with photographers. I have to sell goods by being in the photos of them. Not everyone is nice there. I was not thin enough to be in the industry. My agent gave me two weeks to shape myself up."

"I think you're perfect."

"Wow you actually have a heart."

She heard him chuckle slightly.

"I'm not such a horrible person, am I?" He said with grief, "I just...left. I didn't mean to, I'd do anything - anything at all - to get back here. If I could stay, I'd never go on any hunt again. I mean, what exactly has happened? Have I done anything wrong or what? Why can't I see Him?"

"Who? The mysterious, good lion?"

"Mysterious. Unpredictable. He's not good, He's great," he said with admiration. "He was my guide."

"Was?"

"He's, sort of, absented then," He said, his voice was low. "This is my responsibility. My people."

"You're a very arrogant person in day time, and Caspian is not such a terrible man. He's too humble sometimes. I can't imagine how you were as a king, are you sure you've not been a tyranny? "

He snorted. "Caspian is no king."

"You have never tried to understand him," she pointed out.

"Who are you to say? You've merely arrived."

"Here comes the arrogant, stubborn man."

"I am a King," there was no rage in his voice.

"So is Edmund and he's been a way nicer person," she said.

He looked at her, chose to ignore her statement. He smiled. "This is the first nice conversation we'd ever had."

She looked away from his face before smiling. She was sorry for him, because of the way he had to restate himself, re-establish himself as a righteous king of this land. She didn't know him in the past, but she didn't feel like he had to do these, to put everything on himself.

I woke up, and I felt sorry as well.

"So he was actually complaining this morning before setting off with Sire Jordan to visit the arsenals," Nathaniel informed me about Damien.

"That's great," I said.

"Your Grace, you're not listening, again," he said.

"You always know that," I said, walking along the garden path, "don't you?"

"That's what friends do, right? Caspian always knew when I had trouble," Nathaniel said. "Like, there was a girl I fancied. Caspian knew it and he arranged us meeting in the festival."

I nodded, "Did he mention anything about the High King?"

"The High King is a honourable man," Nathaniel said, "I've never met him in person. But Caspian always talked about him, and Queen Susan. She was one thousand three hundred years older than Caspian, he'd always said that. Try to think about him."

"Is he," I paused, "arrogant?"

"Of course not!" Nathaniel said quickly.

"Then I must have dreamt of someone else last night," I said. "I dreamt of an arrogant sad man, I thought it was the King. But maybe I've been listening to you too much lately."

"No! Keep those dreams! Did you see him, or yourself?" He was rather eager.

"I don't know, it's like watching a flat screen telly," I said, trying to remember the trees.

"What is a telly?"

"Um," I tried very hard to think and resulted only in headache. "I don't know. Something, I supposed."

"Do you want to go to the library? We can get some books, or just anything about the High King -"

"Tell me about Rosie then, friend."

Nathaniel looked at me with a certain of shock in his eyes. "How do you know - King Damien told you that."

"Tell me about her."

"Her life depends me upon my action now," Nathaniel looked at the lawn. "I cannot make one mistake about the way I behave. I - I can't afford - never mind."

"You can depend on me. Tell me your difficulties and I promise I will try to help you," I said. His face worried me.

"I - it doesn't matter. Let's go to the library, Your Grace. You may remember -"

"Emma?"

I turned around and saw Damien hurrying forward, alone. He was smiling.

"Hello, I heard you've been complaining about something in the morning," I said as he kissed my cheek.

"You're going to the court meeting with me," he said with a big smile. "I've made the announcement that you will take the seat beside me in the court later. They have to know your place. This is the day."

"Are you quite sure?"

"Yes. Anyway, Sire Jordan said he had big discovery and I don't want to be in that boring room all by myself. So please come," Damien took my hand.

I agreed and we soon had lunch and proceeded to the crowded court room. Damien wanted to make an entrance but I refused. He took my hand and we moved into the courtroom after the nobles had settled themselves. I was nervous, but I, unsteadily, made it to the seat anyway.

"This is Lady Emma," Damien said. They did not make any statement or mention anything about me. I was just a nobody. He was right, it was indeed a boring room with different nobles reporting the matters in their local area.

I did not like the way they talked about owning the land. These Telmarines did not have a higher position than the Narnians did. Yet, they pretended so.

"...there I demand more troops from the castle to keep those creatures away."

"Thank you Sire Marcus," Damien said. "Anymore reports?"

"It's I," Sire Jordan stood up from his seat, walked to the middle of the room, "who have a discovery."

"Please do go on." Damien said , covered his mouth to hide his yawn.

"We are under a threat," the skinny man said, "a threat was faced once by Narnians. Those animals."

"Narnians are no threat to anyone," I spoke for the first time. I avoided the people's stare, "You have done enough chasing them into the woods, as well as chasing some other good men."

"Yes, I understand your love for those animals," Sire Jordan said and the sires and nobles chuckled and smirked at a reason that I did not understand. "And that's why I hope, my lord, your lady would retreat from the following scene."

"What scene?" Damien asked, sat up more decently.

Sire Jordan looked at me pointedly.

"I am not going," I said.

"Then she stays," Damien's voice echoed in the circular room.

"But she has to go," Sire Marcus added. "I mean, this is no place for a woman."

"She stays and this will be the last time I say this," Damien said, glaring around. The sires and nobles all looked at Sire Jordan, who stroked his chin.

"Well, I hope it doesn't make any harm to my..." He said, "Bring him in."

The tall door was opened. The sound of horse riding was heard, but in a painful way.

"Move, creature!" I heard some men shout.

I heard hooves, and the sound of angry, furious men. Damien stood up and walked down the stairs with amazement.

There dark hooves came in sight, and a bared body bind by heavy ropes and the rest of a horse. This was the...

"Centaur," Damien whispered.

The centaur saw me, must be laughing at my total shocked face inside. He stopped struggling. Instead, he made his way towards me, walking with nothing but pure dignity and even relief. His pace was slow but elegant, head was high.

The men holding the ropes could not stop him from moving, and so they had to move along with him. Most of the nobles were not surprised. In the corner of my eyes, I saw many of them eyeing at me.

The centaur stopped and he bowed at Damien.

"A creature who knows well enough to bow at the king - he might as well switch side! Haha," some noble shouted and the room burst out laughing.

I would bet anything, including that beloved picture in the library, that Damien did not want the centaur to bow at him. Yet, he could not ask the centaur to stand though, or he'd be called a traitor.

A traitor - there was someone I knew; he had been...what had he been? Did I know anyone - I could not remember.

"This is the creature that my men captured in the edge of the Western Woods. He was doing, I suppose, his patrol duty," Sire Jordan said in a loud voice. "This is proof that Narnians and the old Telmarine king have been plotting ..."

The centaur was still bowing while Sire Jordan kept his speech.

"...we have to -"

"Rise." Damien interrupted.

I saw the centaur's face at last, he blinked slowly.

"I am not bowing at you," the centaur said. He looked at me carefully. His black eyes were big and focus. Damien frowned at me as well.

"He's been looking for you eagerly," the centaur said. "I saw him cry every night."

"Who are you talking about?" I asked, rose from the seat.

His eyes were mourning. He opened his mouth to speak but someone handed Sire Jordan a whip from somewhere and he rammed it at the centaur - Glenstorm's back. Glenstorm didn't moan or utter any single word.

"Stop it!" Damien yelled. "You let him go immediately, this is an order."

"I am afraid I cannot since most sensible people here will not agree," Sire Jordan said. "I've mentioned. This is a threat!"

"Then, you will not question him -"

"Perhaps it is an 'it'! We all understand that the young king is a sympathetic, generous man, but don't be a foolish king," Sire Jordan said.

"Do no question him without my permission and he will stay in nowhere but the prison in MY castle under MY rule. Is that not clear to anyone? I will have guards around him, and I will not let anybody here take him to their manors for any kind of questioning. Is that clear?"

Sire Jordan protested. I could not hear their conversation clearly because all I could think of was the Western Woods. I looked at Glenstorm and the scars of him, wanting nothing but to get him out of here.

I couldn't tell why I remember his name. I just did.

"Come home, Duchess -" Glenstorm said.

As if Glenstone was telling me some kind of absolute secret, the thin Sire Jordan kicked him in the stomach and beat him.

"Stop it - let him speak!" I shouted. "Please, stop it!"

"Take this filthy pony out of here," Sire Jordan yelled at the servant. Glenstorm could not speak because of his wounds.

"Duche-"

"Please let him -"

"Take it out, fools!" Sire Jordan thundered as the men dragged Glenstorm away. He didn't have a choice and I saw the tall door closed. I didn't remember the rest of the dreadful day. Only those fragments of Damien escorting me back to my room and how Nathaniel collected the untouched supper.

"I'll stay in the reading room tonight," Damien said, "or I'll go walking somewhere. I cannot sleep. I just can't believe my disability to stop them. I - goodnight, my love."

I watched him leave. Glenstorm was taken to Sire Jordan's manor. I could not, and did not imagine what followed. I heard the knocking of door. I opened the door and saw the excited Nathaniel.

"Your Grace," he breathed."I can finally find you alone. I heard they've captured Glenstorm and they locked him in Sire Jordan's. We must go and rescue him!"

"Shh - come inside," I said and closed the door.

"Come on let's go, I can direct you the way," Nathaniel said emotionally, "we must go into the manor now, please!"  
"I cannot go there. I - this is not a matter I should get myself involved with as much as I care about Glenstorm," I said.

"He's your friend!" Nathaniel said fiercely, "and...let me compose myself. I almost...I need to breathe."

Nathaniel distanced himself from me, taking in deep breath.

"He called me something else. Damien said he was out of his mind, but the centaur called me the Duchess. He bowed at me," I said. "Why did you say he is my friend?"

"Do you really not remember any single thing? What have they done?" Nathaniel was desperate.

"Tell me. This is a very confusing time for me. I cannot remember anything and I have weird dreams, and even feelings about different matters. He asked me to come home - but this castle is my home! I remembered his name without knowing why or how I did. I think I am going insane," I said. "I got headache when I tried to think. I need to know what is going on."

Nathaniel covered his face with his hands, "I am sorry I cannot tell you."

"You're..." I thought of Damien and a name,"...you're protecting Rosie or whoever she is, aren't you?"

"She is a true beauty, and I shouldn't have bothered you with this. It was a tired day for you," Nathaniel said. "I just thought there may be hope. Sleep well, Your Grace. I know you've tried to help."

Nathaniel left, leaving me more startled than ever.

Who was looking for me?

Who was crying every night?


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi. This is Chapter Four and please let me know what you think of the story so far. I am trying to apply the Iceberg Theory but I am not sure if the work is good enough :) **

* * *

Chapter Four

It was midnight, and the floor was icy cold. I didn't have any shoes on, but I kept walking. I was wearing my sleeping gown. There wasn't any single soldier in the way asking where I was going. In fact there wasn't anyone in the corridors.

There was no fire on the fire torches. It was dim. Nothing stopped me from walking. I clutched at the bricks on the wall as I took the stairs. I stopped when I reached an opened window. There was no breeze or wind tonight. Only the moon.

I reached the top. My hands moved along the wooden wall in front of me. I turned the knob. I smelled parchments and very old books. It was brighter in the room. I closed the door behind me. I saw the opened books on the desk.

I moved closer to the table, gazed at a blank page. I wanted to flip it but spilled the ink. A drop of ink landed on the blank page and the tiny drop formed lines. The lines became realer and thicker, and I saw the outline of mane. Then yellow and golden paint filled itself in.

I felt like being in a safe bay. I felt like flying like an eagle. Nothing could hurt me for the moment. I heard my heart beating steadily - I had never been this peaceful since -I remembered a lagoon - since a very long time ago.

"Child."

I looked up. He was standing there, walking towards me in silent steps. I expected fear growing in me. But all I could do was rushing towards Aslan. I raised my hand and wanted to touch Him; but I stopped.

"I am sorry." I whispered, "and I am scared."

"My dear, do you trust me?" Aslan asked.

"I don't know who I am and people are saying stuff lately and there was this centaur who called me something else today and I can't stop thinking about the High King -" I couldn't stop myself.

Aslan moved forward so my hand touched His nose. He was warm. One touch of Him made everything else fade. I moved forward and buried my face in His golden mane, breathing in Him.

"I feel very strong and vulnerable, how is it possible that I feel both at the same time?" I mumbled in His fur.

I heard His slight chuckle, "naturally."

I pulled back and looked at Him. I had always thought looking at Aslan in the eyes would be the hardest thing to do, but it really wasn't. He just looked at me with His soft eyes, and He nodded at me.

"I am fighting for you now as I've always been," Aslan said. "You will become stronger. You just have to keep going, and you will find what you're looking for."

I wanted to say 'I can't', but with the way His golden eyes locked on mine, words were unnecessary. He trusted that I could get out of this mess, and He made me want to trust that too. I hugged Him again, taking in more of Him. I felt warmth spreading to my very toes.

Aslan moved, He breathed at the curtains on the wall. They drew themselves upward and revealed the picture. The sea was moving, I heard the rolling waves and saw the foam along the coast.

"Go," Aslan said.

I shook my head. Aslan gave me a gentle push. I walked towards the painting, glanced back and saw Aslan stood there, never left even after I went through the frame.

I walked on the sand; and sea breeze was comforting, as well as the smoothing sound of wave. Where was this leading me? And I saw it.

Someone was sitting on a rock, he was looking at the big moon. Was this real? His feet were touching the water. He played with something in his hands. Another man came out from the woods and walked towards him, stood in the shallow water. The he took no notice of another man.

I did not think they saw me.

"You cannot keep behaving like this, my friend," the other man said. His name was - he was King Caspian.

"Did you ever miss her? Susan?" he asked. It was the same 'he' who visited my dreams.

"I did, very much for a long period. Then I accepted that you will not return," King Caspian said. "I moved on. We are very good friends, you see."

"I know," he said, "she did too. She has never been sad about this. Well, of course, this is Susan. She always has a solution about romance."

"Indeed," King Caspian said. "And I know perfectly well that you will be leaving again after clearing up the mess I've made."

"Lucy has told you many times that it wasn't your fault," he said."Back in London when I was working with the professor, I kept wondering if I could ever come back and see her. I did eventually, but it didn't turn out the way I'd always hope it'd be. It was my fault, I started the argument."

"She's everybody's friend," King Caspian said. "Especially Edmund's. Of course we all would try everything to get her back to us. Don't give up."

"We have lost too many," he was blue, "even Glenstorm."

"I am quite very sure that Glenstorm is still alive. He is a survivor, so is your lady," King Caspian didn't mask his confidence, and his worries, "I am worried about you."

"I do not act indifferent back there," he replied.

"You do not, of course you are very well composed," King Caspian said. "But where is the Peter who hated me? The person who would die try to save Narnia?"

"I would still die try to save Narnia," he said. "I just really - never mind."

"I will leave you in peace with your ring. I will be there if you want to talk about anything," King Caspian said. "Don't stay up too late, we have to plan a rescue tomorrow."

King Caspian returned to the forest. I took more steps forward but it was getting sloped. I tried to run but I only fell deeper.

"Peter!" I shouted. I needed to reach him because he was - he was something - someone - very, extremely important to me even though I did not remember who he was.

I saw Peter turned his head, but I sank deeper. I was being extracted down the black hole along with the sand and sea. I shouted his name again but my limbs were being dragged downward - I saw him stand up - and I was thrown away into complete darkness.

The next thing I knew: I shot up from my bed.

Damien was in the room looking satisfied and said something. I nodded and agreed, thinking about nobody but Peter - that was his name - Peter.

I realised it was in the morning and Damien was packing something.

"Why do you look so startled?" I heard Damien ask. "It's our day! I don't have any single meeting, well have one with Sire Marcus but we can ignore him."

I nodded, "I am very excited."

"You don't look like it," Damien said.

"I just," I said, "I do not know what to expect. A bit nervous I suppose."

"Haha," Damien laughed, "Don't be. I like that place, and I'm sure you will as well. Nathaniel is coming with us, he'll prepare the picnic. He said he wants to get away from the castle too."

"That's great."

We were out of the city soon. We were not questioned by anyone. We went into the valleys and walked along the trees. I remembered the huge tree roots with the two people sitting on it. That was Peter, and the other was - I could not think about it.

Damien held my hand as we climbed the trees. He told me about a book that he'd been reading lately about the adventure of a noble mouse Reepicheep, then he told me about visiting the orphanage one evening. He said some of the children were upset because of the separation with their parents, Damien was helpless on this.

"Like, I really would like to help, but you know there are just time that you don't know what to do about it. They were crying - Nadia wouldn't stop even after I took her out for a walk!"

"I see."

"Is the walking too much for you? We'll be in the shore soon," Damien said.

"I am fine. I didn't sleep well last night," I told him. I saw Nathaniel glanced at me. "Anyway, do I have to go to the party tomorrow? I mean, it's my birthday and I would like to stay with you."

"Unfortunately no," Damien kept walking, "Uncle wouldn't let me, he's invited many and I will have to make the statement of your status. That's why we're spending time together today."

"Alright."

"The truth is, I don't want to go either."

We arrived a shore. There was a boat and Damien helped me in. He insisted paddling, saying it would be fun. The water was calm and we didn't speak as he paddled.

We landed on the other side of the shore.

"Welcome to the Western Woods," Damien said.

"Are you out of your mind?" I asked. "This is very dangerous - what would they do to you if they found you? We have to go back!"

"But it's your birthday and it has a nice view during sunset, I'd thought you'd like it," Damien said, frowning with disappointment. "Okay, then, let's just go back -"

"No," I said weakly. "I mean, I was just worried about you."

"Don't be, it's about you and your birthday," Damien was cheered up a bit. "We just have to be a bit quieter. I know Nathaniel is King Caspian's friend, but you said he is a good friend of yours. So I am not worried."

Nathaniel nodded.

I didn't speak then. Damien asked Nathaniel to prepare the picnic while we stayed in the sea for a little longer. Damien was very keen on using the paddle, and he joked about different matter as well. That kept my mind off other things.

We stopped somewhere in the middle. Damien took my hands in his.

"Do you love me?" Damien asked suddenly. "'cause I've never asked you this."

"You know I do," I said, my tone was flat for some reason.

"Then, will you marry me?" Damien said. His face was more serious than I'd never seen him.

"Of course," I smiled genuinely and he kissed me. He didn't stop beaming until we returned to the shore.

It was all very romantic. We had the picnic Nathaniel prepared, splashed the water a bit on each other. I lay under the shadow of the trees and heard Damien talking about the wedding he wanted. Yes, it was very, indeed, romantic with nice food and the blue sky.

I was less happy than I thought. I closed my eyes to avoid more conversation with Damien. He assumed I was sleeping then.

Something felt very wrong. I was marrying Damien - I should be exploding with excitement. I forced myself to sleep. I couldn't think, or I'd get headache again.

When I woke up, it was clear why Damien wanted to come here.

It was the sunset. The sun was hanging on the horizon of the sea. The reds, oranges, yellows and violets were gluing to anything that was willing to carry them. The hue of day and time all stood in this piece of sky, this very piece of ocean, mingling as the goodbyes to the day and welcomes for the night.

I inhaled the salty wind; it was just beautiful - I did not know how to describe it any better.

"Your Grace?"

I suddenly remembered I wasn't alone. Nathaniel stood next to me, unaffected by the beauty of Narnia.

"His Grace heard something in the woods and was wandering inside. It's a been a while. Shall I go and fetch him?"

"Go quickly," I said. Nathaniel went into the woods with his sword out.

The moment he went in, there was rustling in the other side of the woods. I was fairly frightened. I saw a rock along the shoreline - Peter had sat there, in my dream.

A man came out. It was him.

He took slow pace towards the sea until he turned around and saw me. There was something deadly about him. I couldn't scream.

"Emma?"

I couldn't breathe - a lot of things were in my head, screaming and running.

"Emma?" He shouted and ran towards me. I ran to the opposite side of the beach instantly.

"Wait, what - where - Emma, is that you?" He asked. "please, don't run, just is that you?"

The dress was too long and I tripped to the ground. He was going to kill me, wasn't he? He was an old Narnian king, he hated Telmarines like me.

He came closer.

"Please don't kill me," I said to him.

He stopped deadly in front of me, waves of foam touched his boots. He opened his mouth, but closed it slowly.

"I would never -" His had a light voice.

"Please don't kill me," I repeated. My heart was beating very fast as though some creature inside was jumping out any moment. I wanted to move but my feet were lame.

"Emma? What is going on? It's me!" he said in a pleading voice, crouched down in front of me, "you know me. I've been looking for you everywhere. I've heard someone took you to the castle." He smiled uneasily, he offered me his hand, "It's okay now, you're home. I won't anyone -"

"I don't know anything about the night when they overthrown King Caspian," I breathed. "I was not outside, I was -"

The High King frowned at me. "You've not even arrived here the night Caspian was overthrown. I am sorry for the argument - I didn't mean to say any of those things - I mean I just missed you so much and you started bluffing about us not having the future, and I was a bit angry. I was arrogant. I was a foo-"

I turned around and pushed myself up from the sand, started running from him. He was going to hurt me, I knew it.

"Wait, where are you going?" I heard him coming after me. I wanted to run faster, but I couldn't. I had to defend for myself. The person I'd been dreaming about all nights and finally he stood in front me; yet all I wanted to do was to run away and hurt him.

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I saw his eyes. I was not going to let him toy me.

"Take your hand off me. I am Lady Cair Paravel. Stay away from me," I said, glaring at him.

"No you're Emma, you're the Duchess," He replied indifferently. "What have they done to you? We will go to Lucy, she has a cordial. She is going to fix whatever problem -"

"I am perfectly fine. No one has done anything to me," I said. "I don't know who you are or why you're in my dreams, but I do not know you, I am sorry that I didn't realise what a savage man you are earlier. Please let me go."

"Why do you act like you don't know me?" His question was a mere whisper.

"Because I do not," I said loudly, hoping Damien would hear me.

"What about Ed? Susan and Lucy?" He grabbed my shoulders with both of his hands. "You do remember them, don't you?"

His eyes were in blue I noticed. They were gorgeous, deadly gorgeous.

"Ahh, this is a joke." He nodded and flashed a smile at me, "you just got me. Let's just go home, I promise I won't ever quarrel with you."

"My home is on the other side of the shore, the second Cair Paravel, named by King Caspian," I said. "I am sorry if Sire Jordan has taken any of your men or has done anything that upsets you; it's not Damien's fault. If-if you w-want to find the centaur, he is in Sire Jordan's mansion. Please, you can have your attack or burn the castle or anything that please you, just don't hurt Damien. He's all I've got."

"King Damien?" I could tell Peter was thinking hard.

"He will be my husband soon," I just felt the need of stating this for some reason. This was important, somehow.

King Peter narrowed his eyes at me, his grip on my shoulders was harder. I tried to struggle off him. I looked up, and saw his eyes. Blue.

"You have to tell me," He spoke slowly, "what happened to you right now. I am serious."

"I can see that," I snapped.

I heard a deep sound of horn. He did not take his eyes off me nevertheless.

High King Peter - Peter looked into my eyes, with grief and the kind of sadness that I had never seen on anyone. It hurt me too stare, but when I did, I remembered the smell of wet wood.

I heard the sound of the never ending waves next to us. I remembered something - I remembered the earthy smell of somebody, an annoying, cheeky smile. I remembered standing in the morning with somebody - him.

It was like someone was pouring cold water straight into the veins of my brain.

I heard some quick pace, and saw a young man came out from the woods. He as about my age with dark hair and grim face.

"Peter who's th- Emma? Emma!"

I pushed the frozen blonde man away and held my hands in the air. Nobody was getting close to me.

"She doesn't remember me," the High King said in a dreamy tone, "she - Emma, Ed, they've done something to her."

Ed...Edward - Edmund, his name was Edmund. Edmund looked at me in shock.

"What? She doesn't remember you?"

"I -"

"We've got to go. Susan's back from spying in the town, she's got hurt."

"No way," the High King groaned, "I've told her not to go."

"She was looking for," the Just King nodded at me.

"She's here now, we'll bring her back."

"Don't come any closer, strangers!"

"When did we become strangers to you?" The Just King asked, stepping forward.

"I don't know, maybe always?" I shouted.

The sound of horn floated in the air again, only more urgent this time. The two men in front of me glanced into the woods and exchanged a dark look. They were hesitating at Queen Susan's horn. But it was history - it was supposed to be only history!

"This is it, we're all going home," the High King said and instantly the Just King launched at him, grabbing his shoulders. The sound of the horn kept coming then.

"Next time," the Just King shouted. The High King glared at him, he was murderous and dangerous.

"Susan needs us now," he said even louder.

The High King's eyes found mine. For a moment, I wanted to hug him and tell him many things. This was very strange.

"I'm coming back for you later," He said quietly. The two of them returned to the woods. At the edge of it, the High King turned around and looked at me again.

The orange light shone on his face. He was exhausted, eyes were weary on mine. I looked away to the far ocean and I heard he ran off.

I sat on the sand, listened to the waves until I couldn't stand it and cried. I didn't know why, I just did.

Damien came back later with mud all over him. He said he fell into a mud hole and Nathaniel rescued him. He also suggested that we needed to leave at once because he heard the horn.

"Are you okay? You haven't really been yourself," Damien said as we returned to the castle. I smiled and kissed him. It was very passionate but it didn't make up for what I had had in my head.

I felt like betraying Damien. Mentally anyway. He was right. I hadn't been myself.

Every now and then, I dreamt of kissing the High King and how he took me in his arms. I was betraying Damien in some way.

Who was I though?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It was my birthday. And it was a birthday party, namely thrown for me. Nobles were talking about many things that I didn't understand.

I was wearing a beautiful dress. Damien asked somebody to make my hair curly. The food was fabulous. The music was ravishing. It was a cloudy night, a storm was definitely coming. Everybody bowed at me, wished me happy birthday. Even Sire Jordan didn't speak much to me, which I was absolutely grateful.

"You look very tired, we're not even half way through the party," Damien said as we were watching people to dance behind the long table.

"I am stuffed with food," I smiled at him. "Are you sure you're going to make the announcement? We're not in a hurry."

"No, I've made up my mind," Damien said sternly. "People will know you're the future queen, and that's the way to keep you safe."

Soon, Damien was told to dance with the nobles' daughter.

"Go," I encouraged, "This is for a better relationship with the nobles."

Damien looked like he was about to cry when he was dancing with Sire Oscar's daughter. I was not tired, yet I didn't go to sleep last night.

Last night was terrible. Damien went to his military teacher's place for the night. For the first time, I didn't urge him to come back. I lay on the bed, thinking about the High King. Then I went to the library just to see if I could walk through the picture again. The sea didn't move. The Lion wasn't here neither.

"Nathaniel?" I turned around, "Nathaniel, you look so grim."

"It's just," Nathaniel who stood behind me, "I don't like this place."

"Nobody really does," I replied. "I am walking around. Don't leave Damien alone here."

Quietly, as though anybody would have noticed me, I sneaked away from the hall. Sire Jordan was a cunning man, yet he had a wonderful manor. There were tall towers on the sides and a square near the wooden portcullis.

Then I stopped, it was a fort. A fort for war. I was scared suddenly. How much people did he kill to build himself this?

I wondered along the road, and found chambers of weapons. I kept walking with no purpose. There was nobody. No sound. Just the flickers of torchlight. I grabbed a fire torch on the side for light, and then the wall moved.

The marble wall became a tunnel. It was a trap door. My heart was pounding. Yet, I went inside as though some force was pushing gently at the back. The dark tunnel was wet and muddy. I tried not to think what I'd find.

"Is there anybody?" I heard a female voice.

"Where are you?" I asked, my voice echoed in the corridor.

"Here! Wake up, Glenstorm, I think somebody's here."

I followed the voice and found empty prison cells. A woman with red hair was waving her hand at me behind the distanced bars.

"Please help us!" She was extremely thin with swollen cheeks.

"Rosie? Are you Rosie?"

"You're the Duchess! Please help us," she said. "I'm Rosie."

"Nathaniel knows you," I said. "I heard you call Glenstorm."

"Glenstorm, the centaur, is in that room," Rosie said. "I am just Jordan's minor prison. To key to my cell is right over there," she pointed at the key on the hook on the wall, "but for Glen, it'll take five men to break the door of his cell."

"I'll get help for him later," I said. I opened her cell door and we left the tunnel. I was scared of letting Glenstorm out. We stood in the mouth of the tunnel.

"You wait here, I'll get Nathaniel," I said to Rosie and gave her the torch. "Do let anyone see you."

I ran towards the hall, trying to stay normal. I was sweating. I decided to take a short cut, a short cut Damien had told me about last time we visit Sire Jordan. As I spun towards the completely dark stairs, my head hit someone.

"Ouch!"

I heard him panting.

"Please let me pass," I said, it was difficult to move in the narrow stairs.

"Emma?"

I recognised deep voice.

"You're -"

"What are you doing here? You need to leave now," he said.

"Edmund? You're King Edmund the Just."

"Very flattering coming from you," he said, "turn around and you need to get out of this castle."

"No, I need to find someone!"

"No, go to somewhere safe-"

"No! I am going to find Nathaniel -"

"Listen! Just listen to me," I felt him grabbing my hands, "a troop is coming. No, Caspian is still in the woods, but Peter is coming. I know he doesn't plan this rescue and attack just for Glenstorm. He's coming for you. Either you come with us or -"

"I'm staying here," I said.

"Don't be rid-"

"You let me find Nathaniel, and I'll let him lead you to Glenstorm. Then I'll stay in wherever you want me to, okay?"

There came a moment of silence before he agreed. I asked him to wait in the stairs. He trusted me so naturally. I found Nathaniel who was yawning at the back of the hall.

I was approaching to him when Damien hugged me from behind.

"I'm going to make the announcement in five minutes, bear with me," Damien said.

"You need to go. An army from the High King is coming right now," I warned in whisper.

"What -"

I didn't explain and ran into the crowd. I dragged Nathaniel's arm and raced towards the door.

"I've found Rosie and I need you to run away with her," I said. Nathaniel was in shock but before he could ask any question, I'd found Edmund behind the door.

"It took you so long! Look, tell me where Glenstorm is. I have to go and give signal to the rest of them, though I think they're already coming."

I gave them the location and asked Edmund to take more men to break down Glenstorm's cell door.

"I don't know how to thank -"

"Go! Don't let anyone know I told you this." I shouted at Nathaniel.

Nathaniel was away soon. I saw the flashing of lightning outside the window before hearing the thunder and the sound of heavy rain.

"You," Edmund said, "go to hide. Don't let anyone find you."

"But I have to warn them," I said. "There're people inside the room."

"Do you honestly care about them? Because those people's hands are stained without nothing but blood." His eyes went dark suddenly.

"I do, and you're a King, a King who does justice. How can you not care about the lives of those people back there?" I asked. "It's not their war to fight."

"I just," Edmund looked at me and opened his mouth a few times. And he said slowly, "how could anyone ever question that you are not the same Emma?"

"Do you know her? That Emma?" I asked.

Edmund just smiled at me. "She always does the right thing, and - wait. They're here."

Edmund strode towards the window and he took out his sword. It looked heavy and shiny. I followed him and saw rain pouring down. There was a small bit of red and orange, and the hooves and the sound of charging.

"I need to get ready," Edmund said quietly. "We don't come here to kill, but I am not sure what people would do, get yourself in somewhere safe, okay? Don't go near any of those sires or nobles."

I nodded, Edmund walked towards the end of the empty corridor, and he turned back.

"You know," Edmund said. "If you don't want to come back with Peter, just let him know. We'll sort this out, bring you back and all that, but you don't have to stick with Peter if you don't want to. Just, run away from him and don't let him catch you or anything."

"What kind of advice is that?" I frowned at him.

"I'm your best friend," Edmund said. He turned and he ran towards the corridor. I went to the window and saw some flying things in the sky. Some women's screaming from the other room, the dancing hall, scattered the sound of the rain.

There were people instructing the others to leave, and I didn't want to get involve with the crowd. I thought of Damien and was quite sure that he'd be safe since he was the king.

There were men with armours coming down in the open square. I heard more footsteps from the dancing hall. There were roaring and when I looked outside at the square again, the troops with Narnians and Telmarine soldiers scrambled their way, flooding into the square with clattering weapons.

I turned away from the window and reached for the other way then. I heard Damien's voice coming towards the end of corridor, so I turned the other way and ran upstairs. It was room for books and I opened the door inside. I reached more empty rooms and I just kept running. I couldn't be found yet I saw blood in the battlefield a moment ago. How exactly did they come in?

Their sound of fighting swords was loud, and the men's lust for blood and the charging went raging, echoing in the whole fort.

I clapped my hand over my nose and mouth when I heard somebody walking nearby.

"Where is she?" the man sounded furious behind the wall, "where the hell is that woman?"

"I don't know, Jordan," the man, that was Sire Marcus, said. "I thought you said placing her next to your nephew was going to solve the problem!"

"She's in her and she has power that you'd never imagine. We can't lose her to them anyway," Sire Jordan said. "Caspian made a good strike. We are going to outnumber them as long as you go to the castle right now and send for more men."

"How about the girl? Don't lie to me, you've always wanted to get rid of both of them, you don't trust magic."

"We kill her in this mess so no one will know," Sire Jordan said. "Go and fetch for more men!"

The footsteps died away then, and it was only the sound of thundering in the room for a moment. "Dying here or dying there," I remembered someone said. I heard more sound and my heart was pounding so fast that I'd rather it'd stopped.

I opened the door slightly. It was an empty corridor again. I walked quickly, as quickly as one could with the knowledge that they were to be killed in this attack, and found some handsome marble stairs. I went up nevertheless, and opened the door.

It was surely the most expensive room in the tower with paintings and a gold-made bed. I closed the door and went over to the window, where I could see the entire square clearly. It hurt my head to look, because even in the dark with rain coming down, I didn't fail to spot the injured and the blood.

The rain was so heavy that it seemed like the sky was whimpering with deafening thunder. I looked carefully, he wasn't here. I looked again and saw a woman who shot arrows right at where she aimed, and there was Edmund, fighting with two swords.

Where was Peter?

"Just go to the other side, I have to look," I heard a voice outside the room and immediately I blew off the candles on the sides. Before I could reach the wardrobe nearby, the door was opened. It was dark, and his blade came into the room first.

King Peter saw me. His entire body was wet, and there was blood coming down above his eyes. He panted, and he didn't speak, closed the door behind him. He locked it.

"Emma..." he turned around.

I saw Peter's eyes, and I suddenly wanted to look pretty because he gazed at me like he wanted to take me away to another world that only had flowers and rivers, no more ugly wars or plots or choices to make.

"I don't want to go back with you," I said. I tucked my hair backward, "I know you come here to take me with you. But I," I inhaled for some moments before speaking loudly, "I am not afraid of you."

"You're not afraid of anyone," Peter came closer, he put his sword back to the hilt. "I know that, and you know why I know that? Because I-"

"That's a lie," I confronted him. "Damien asked me to marry him. I said yes."

"I asked first," Peter had stopped coming closer. "I smashed the party."

"That was my birthday party," I told him. My voice was unsteady, "you ruined it."

"Of course I know, I remember everything about us. Happy birthday," Peter said knowingly. "Why are you acting like I'm going cut you in half any second?"

"You are, aren't you?"

Peter laughed darkly. "I've got you something," he took out a silver thing from his neck, and he put it on his palm. It was a ring with chain.

"I've seen it before," I said. I tucked my curls back again, "You were at the beach, with King Caspian and, and, and it was a dream."

"Keep it, it's always been yours," Peter reached out for my hand. I stepped back, so he stopped and held out the ring. "I am not going to hurt you."

I wanted to just take it and thank him, but Peter touched the back of my fingers, and I couldn't bring myself to pull back; I didn't want to see those broken eyes again. He rubbed the back of my hand.

"Come with me," Peter whispered softly. "I am High King the Magnificent, and I'm begging you."

"You sound very arrogant," I said that, and I felt like I didn't.

His chuckle was low, "I am still begging you."

I took the ring and it was cold against my palm. He let my hand go. The rain didn't stop, but these were the two worlds. Staying here with Peter and the blood stained ground outside.

"Thank you," I said. I smiled and put my hair back.

"Can you now tell me what's happened?" Peter smelled grassy, and he stood close to me.

"Nothing has happened," I said. "I've always been living in Narnia. I am telling the truth."

Peter nodded at me, he wasn't convinced. He didn't ask further question but asked me to put on the necklace.

"No I -"

"Please."

So I did, and Peter pulled my hair up so the ring fell in front of my chest.

"There," I said. It was very hot and stuffy in the room and I didn't question how I was still breathing at the moment.

"Just as where it should be," Peter said. "I have never seen you with hair like this. You're very beautiful today."

Peter touched my face. His hand was warm. Could one's eyes be as blue and sad as Peter's? And the beautiful moment ended. There was a loud scream and people were yelling "Capture her! The Gentle! Her!"

Peter rushed to the window. I glanced over and saw the woman who shot arrows was surrounded by people with arms. Peter put a leg over the window frame and he put it back on the floor. He grabbed my hand and he moved near the curtains.

"What are you doing?"

Peter took the rope and tied me near the curtain. I tried to struggle off it but it was too tight and it hurt my hand.

"Where are you going?" I asked, glanced at the window. "No, they'll kill you!"

"I'll come back, and you wait here and we leave together."

"Peter, don't go," I trembled. "Stay with me."

"I will come back," Peter smiled very briefly and he jumped off from the window. Something in my brain seemed to be snatched.

"It's the High King! Be careful!" I heard the men down in the square. There were more yelling. I didn't want to hear and I crouched down, looking only at the ring. I covered my ears. The ring was shiny with a smooth surface. I heard the thunder, I wished everything would stop. And I stood again, trying to tear the curtain.

I heard some heavier footstep and the door was opened again. I thought it was Sire Jordan who came here for my life. Only it wasn't. My eyes were too well up to see properly, but he came to me.

"I've told you to hide!" he said, and I realised it was King Edmund. "What are you still doing here?"

I gestured at the rope and Edmund took out his sword, but he didn't swing at it.

"Peter tied you here," He muttered.

"He said he'd come back, but you should go and help him now, in the square!" I said.

"He'll be fine," Edmund said, "and he'll come here and get you."

"No! Oh why didn't I tell him? Edmund listen," I said. "you need to go, with everyone you've brought here. Sire Jordan has another army coming to the fort right now and he'll outnumber you."

"No we have enough men."

"This can't happen again!" I shouted, things were flashing in my brain, it felt like someone was trying to cram me through a tiny tube, and I remembered the flashing of lights, many blinding lights. "This has happened before, hasn't it? People were killed."

"What are you saying - you remember right, that attack -"

"Edmund, take the men and get out," I said heavily.

Edmund cut off the rope binding my hands and he sprung off. I ran downstairs to the square and there were more men coming, I wasn't sure if the army had arrived yet. I lost Edmund in the battle field again. Glemstone was fighting with an axe, and Peter had broken free with the men surrounding him and the woman... Susan, her name was Susan...She shot.

A man came out blocking the way suddenly, "my lady, we need to leave this place and get you to somewhere safe." He took me with him for a few steps before I realised it was Sire Jordan. I pushed him away but he was stronger than he looked, and he dragged me along with him.

"Come this way, it's not safe!"

"Peter!" I screamed, and I knew he'd be there. He always would be...would he? Sire Jordan was yanking my arm painfully. He'd dragged me to the rain and I slipped on the water ground. Sire Jordan was going to kill me.

And Sire Jordan let go of me. I saw Peter pushing him and Sire Jordan falling on the ground. He stood up again, reaching for his hilt but there was no sword. He turned around and ran with a pale face. Peter was charging towards him but I yelled.

"NO! Peter," I grabbed his arm. Peter panted in front of me, the blood on the his forehead was dripping heavier than ever and there were several cut on his face.

"Get back into the castle now - "

"Listen to me -"  
"Just get away from here!"

"WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN?"

Peter didn't speak, he raised his sword and the next thing I knew: a men fell on the ground behind me. Peter grabbed my hand and pulled me to a side, still fighting in the way.

"Peter! You need to bring the men out of the castle now, there are more army coming," I told him, "Peter, fall back."

"We can do -" Peter said, and his distanced eyes fell on mine. As though he had suddenly remember something extremely important, he nodded. "No more king arrogance."

"Leave," I said.

"You're coming with me!"

I didn't let him catch me this time, and I smiled to him. "Don't die."

I didn't fall again as I ran, and he didn't follow me. I went up to the same marble stairs again and took a fire torch. I set Sire Jordan's room on fire, as well as the studies and everywhere that I could find. The smoke blurred my vision.

It took no more than a while and corridor was on fire, I went upstairs to find soldiers.

"The Narnians burnt the corridor! Help!" The soldiers yelled and hurried to fetch for water. My head became heavy because something like this had happened before, and many people died and ... oh no, the gate.

I found an open window and looked down at the ground, they were retreating. I was grateful but when I looked again, Peter was standing behind and he was looking and yelling.

"Sire Marcus arrived!" I heard some people yelled in the other side of the corridor.

When I took the stairs down, I heard Peter yelling my name. I couldn't manage to take the steps properly. I was about to reach the bottom when I heard Edmund -

"We have to go! No you'll find her next time! Pete, just go!"

"Emma!" I heard the sound being distanced and finally disappeared. Still I rushed to the open square and saw the closing of the gate. There were great griffins taking off in the sky with arrows flying in the air, and the mice were crawling along the lines and the chains.

The rain had stopped. I heard water dripping from roofs. I knew Sire Jordan's army had arrived because everything became much quieter before hearing the low cheering sound. Peter hadn't left yet.

Just like that. Time took a slower pace. Peter, with blood on his forehead with a weathered armour, looked at me through the spaces of the gate. I heard Damien rushing over from somewhere far away. Even so, Peter's eyes were all I could see.

"Come home," I saw him mouthed. Somebody reached me, called my name and asked some stupid questions. I stood there watching men marching towards the gate.

"Archers!" I heard the order.

Edmund dragged Peter away from the gate. Away from me. Peter looked back as he ran. There, he looked again. I saw the first arrow sinking deep into the wooden gate. And my hands were touching the ring, it was cold. I felt very cold like the inside was frozen, and everything I felt just froze along.

Peter looked back by the end of the street, he became a dark spot. He was gone. I eventually felt like I was the one who needed rescue.

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The late afternoon light shone on the castle wall, and it extended all the way to the north, lighting up the streets and the alleys. The houses had long and lovely shadows. Nothing was destroyed in the local's houses, only Sire Jordan's fort. Two days ago, the day after the attack, the country had been strangely silent.

The library was more lonely without Nathaniel's company, but he was happy now. The view was beautiful from here, and I took out Peter's ring from my pocket. I kept it near since he gave it to me. I held the chain, and the ring just bathed in the yellowish light, raying.

Peter's hand was warm, and I hoped his cuts were healed. This attraction was pulling me in, and it wasn't up to me to pull away. Where was he now? What was he doing?

I heard footsteps coming up from the stairs and I put the ring away. I heard the door opened and he walked in. Damien stood next to me.

"The meeting with Sire Marcus didn't go well?"

"He held it against me," Damien said coolly. "Indeed he brought men to the rescue, and now he asked for more reward. Land and money."

"Give it to him so he would stop troubling you," I said.

"He wants them from the people," Damien said. "But that was not an attack. I knew it because I saw the way those Narnians fought. They didn't intend to kill, only knocking out people. The High King did not kill anybody even he was surrounded by arms."

I nodded. We didn't speak for a while. The breeze was slow and comforting.

"You removed the picture painted by the Foxes," I said. I came here the next day and the painting was gone.

"Did that upset you? To not see the man with crown," Damien said.

I turned to look at him. Damien looked tired, looked scared.

"I see a great man with crown standing in front of me," I said. "And he is weary."

"Weary and angry," Damien said."I did not ask anything because I was worried if my tone would upset you. I am asking now. He talked to you. I saw him, grabbing your arm in the square."

"I was terrified, and I ran into the square, King Peter asked me to leave. That was no place for a woman," I told him.

"Uncle Jordan could have escorted you perfectly well, though I did not get to see the entire scene. I was running down to find you, and you were gone," Damien said. "Did you know him?"

"Everyone knows the High King, but in person, I do not," I said with the honest truth. "I thought you knew where my heart lies, but if -"

"I was terrified. I feared for you!" Damien was raged. "I know the High King is a legend, and he has qualities that I shall never have. I envy his bravery and his sword skill, and the way he leads his people, and when I thought I had something that he does not have, a fair fiancé, I remembered how he talked to you."

"Damien - "

"Do not 'Damien' me, Emma," Damien said. "I was scared, but I had you as my stone. Now I am scared, for you will leave for a better man and I shall stay in this castle of rotten plots."

"No, Damien, listen, please -"

"I am not going to bother you now," Damien turned around. "It was a tiring day, and I apologise if my tone has upset you."

Damien went down the stairs. I sat in the library for a moment before taking the stairs and went to the kitchen.

An hour later, I returned to the dining room. The room seemed larger today, and Damien sat around the table. I saw down across him.

"Good evening," Damien said. He was very well composed. "What is that on your cheek? The black paint."

I rubbed it off my cheek. "Nothing."

"You're starting to not tell me the truth," Damien looked at his spoon. "That is the first sign of leaving, isn't it? Of us breaking."

"No," I said. "That was for the surprise."

Our food was placed neatly on the table soon, and Damien picked up his spoon. He ate without speaking.

"What do you think of the dinner?" I asked before eating anything.

"A bit off the taste today, the soup is salty" Damien said. "Maybe the kitchen is out of herbs or something."

"Really?" I asked.

Damien looked up from his food and said, "what? This is really - oh, oh right. You mean the food? It's wonderful. You made them, didn't you?"

I nodded.

"The food is amazing, really, and I especially like the soup," Damien finished his soup quickly and asked for more. "And the steak is great too, like the, um, sauces. Thank you for making the dinner."

"You don't have to finish it, I didn't think it would be that horrible," I said quietly.

"No, it's lovely," Damien said, he put more food into his mouth. "Emma, this is better than any chef in town."

"At least it's better than the food you made the other day," I said.

Damien looked at me and he smiled, "that was an accident. I thought those herbs were not spicy."

We laughed though, and we went to the garden for a walk. Damien held my hand.

"You're perfect, you know that?" I said to him before he said goodbye for another late night meeting. Damien kissed me and he left.

I returned to my room but it was not empty. I realised someone was standing next to the curtain when I wanted to change my clothes.

"I said I'd come back," he said.

I looked at Peter, and I was not terrified at all when he came closer to me.

"You won't go with me?" He asked softly.

"I just saved my relationship," I said. Peter smiled crookedly, and I put my hand in my pocket, clutching the ring. And I remembered the smell of something strange and complete darkness.

"You shouldn't have done that!" I heard a female voice, but I had my eyes remain closed.

"She didn't give me any choices," it was Peter's voice. I was angry, because even with my eyes closed, I knew he had kidnapped me. He was going to hurt me, he was going to violet his promise.

"You're starting a war single-handed," the female voice said. "They have every right to march in, to find us. After everything Caspian had worked -"

"I know," Peter said.

"You're the High King, you can't let your feelings ruin everything," the woman said queenly.

"You know why I did this," Peter said impatiently. "Something is going very wrong. You talk to her and you'll know. There's something in her memory -"

"But still - "

"You remember how you missed Caspian when we got back? Of course you have the solution for everything; not for me and her. Every day since we came back, something is going wrong because she isn't here while she should. I should-" Peter started panting.

"Peter?" the Gentle queen sighed.

"I miss everything about her," Peter said. "And this could be the last time I see her, I can't - just -"

"I saw you sitting by the beach at night," the queen said. "But promise me you won't let this get too far. I need to meet up with the archers."

I heard her leaving the place, and I felt the weight of somebody on the bed.

"You can open your eyes now, she's gone," I heard the voice. I opened my eyes and found myself in a small tent. Peter smiled at me and handed me something quickly. It was the ring.

"I've found it in your pocket," Peter said. "I thought you'd thrown it away."

"Why did you do that?" I whispered, I distanced myself with him. "Bring me back, won't you? You will, right?"

"No," Peter said. "Something is happening with you. We're going to find a solution. It won't be difficult and you'll remember me. You'll remember everything about us. I've brought you some breakfast, and Lu and Ed would be very happy to see you."

"You drugged me, didn't you?"

Peter didn't speak, he picked up the tray from the floor and put it on the bed.

"You drugged me and you call yourself a king," I said.

"That is not very honourable, I know. I've struggled about it for quite some time since seeing you in the beach," Peter looked at the food. "And I hope the Narnians would not put my action in history. But I had to. Why don't anybody understand? Ed tried to stop me."

"Because this is wrong," I said. "You should not take anyone away just because you want to."

"Just eat your breakfast, okay? I'll show you around later," Peter smiled when he looked at me again. "We can go to that beach, and the How and - "

"I don't want to go!" I pushed the tray to the ground, saw the food scattered on the floor. Did I do that? Would I do that? I looked at Peter quickly and was scared. Peter didn't speak, he stared at the food.

"I've thought that you'd be angry, just you're ..." Peter mumbled. "Stay here and I'll see if there are some more food in other tents." Peter cleaned the food on the floor and he left the tent. I jumped from the bed, peeked out of the tent. There were many people passing with weapons, and there were more tents.

I didn't go out, because I felt like everybody would try to stop me from going anywhere and Peter would know. I needed a plan to escape, but then I remembered how sad Peter looked when he looked at the food on the floor.

It didn't matter though. He wasn't much of a good person anyway, kidnapping one from the castle. One moment I was heart skipping when I saw him and loathed him completely in the next second.

I saw Peter coming back, and I sat on the bed when he entered the tent. He looked at me differently.

"Are you feeling fine enough to eat with me?" Peter said when he put down the tray on the far end of the bed. " Because I am done playing nice. I tried to talk sense into you, didn't punch that king for sleeping with you. I've even brought you food. You sure you don't remember anything about me?"

"I don't," I said honestly and I hoped he would take it as the plain truth.

"OK," Peter put a piece of toast into his mouth. "You know me, you did anyway. You said it yourself that I'm arrogant and I am not much of a gentleman when people are not looking. So, if you feel like throwing any food on the floor again, let me know so I won't save you any."

I stared at him and he looked very ugly with dirty rusty hair I realised

"Go on looking at me like this, not that it hasn't happened before." Peter said, he put some more toasts into his mouth. "If we can't do this in that nice way Lucy suggested, then we'll start everything all over again like we've first met."

I looked at the bed sheet, and I heard the ravenous roaring in my stomach. Why was I putting up with this person? I should leave this place right now, it wasn't about the lack of courage of walking away from him anymore.

"Yes, keep being quiet. I like that. Just like you're not even here," Peter said, he drank some water.

"What have I done that made you have to do this to me now? If you hate me, as your attitude reflected perfectly, bring me back to the castle. It's easy, just get me out of the tent and get me home. Why bother with me?" I asked.

"So you're expecting me to be like your lovely King Damien," Peter snorted. He shook his head and admired the toast in his hand. I hoped it was burnt, "I've seen the way he talked to you. All polite and sweet and a totally WAB."

"What's that? And if you've noticed well, I love him," I almost shouted.

Peter looked at me and his eyes fell a little. "Don't say that, can you? And don't be a WAB. It means what a baby, Lucy said it came from a radio programme."

I didn't speak and when I did, I sounded like pleading. "Let me go back."

"If you don't want any breakfast, that's fine. We're going to the beach right now."

"Nope. If we're leaving this tent, you're going to bring me straight home."

"Don't you see? You're at home right now in this very place and this very moment." Peter said impatiently. "I don't want to make a scene, you'd better behave and walk yourself."

Peter grabbed my arm and lifted me up from the bed. He gestured at the tent opening. I went out of the tent because he was waiting. There were more people than I had expected, and none of them was free at the moment. Some were transporting the weapons while the other cooked and gave people breakfast.

When Peter came out behind me, people looked at him and nodded. Peter clutched his jaw as he returned with even more steady nods.

"This way," Peter said, looking deeper into the trees.

"Duchess Grace?"

"Duchess Grace! That's her."

"Oh dear she's back finally," I heard a woman said heartedly.

It made me feel very hot because people were pointing at me with their fingers and with wide eyes like I had horns sticking out from my back. I knew what they'd called me, and I was sick of saying otherwise because I was just too tired. I was hungry and the woods got a bit dizzy with bright sunlight ahead. Peter kept walking, and turning, and more walking among his people.

Eventually we reached the edge of the open area and Peter climbed through a big tree root. I tried and the dress was long and I wasn't quite sure if a lady should know how to climb through woods.

"You enjoyed your entrance?" Peter said as we walked deeper into the woods.

"Nope, but you did because you walked as slowly as your feet could carry you," I said. "Do you walk as slowly as you did in battle? I hope you did."

"You hope I'd die," Peter laughed.

"Is this way home?" I asked, thinking I knew the answer.

"No," Peter sighed. "Tell me, why did you leave that day I asked you to stay? Was it that hard to just stay there and wait for me to come back?"

"I forgot to warn you about the army that was coming from the castle," I said, didn't want to remember that night of horror. "I had to warn you."

"You wanted me to live and you wanted me to die," Peter said.

"It's really complicated actually," I said slowly. "You, um, I don't know. You saved me. In some way, and when you left and you looked back, it was - "

"Yeah?" I heard his low mumble. He was walking steps ahead of me.

"I didn't want you to go. There, I've said it," I breathed slowly.

Peter turned around, "I didn't want you to leave too. That day. I was just overwhelmed to see you again, and I didn't want you to," Peter paused. "You don't remember that, right?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said. Peter shook his head and he kept walking. I wanted to leave this place where I didn't belong, but Peter was leading to somewhere, leading me in.

"You were talking about us not being able to stay together for a very long time," Peter said, he pushed the tall fence so I could get through, "and it wasn't a happy topic."

"Why? Why couldn't we stay together?"

"Would you want to?" Peter said. He was walking next to me and soon we arrived a small lagoon right behind the forest. The water was so clear and so unlike the Thames - what was that?

"I don't know," I said because Peter was looking at me for the answer. He had a brief smile when he looked at the smooth water. He walked ahead of me, took off his boots and walked along the waves.

"Come on!" He said to me.

I didn't go near the water, for some hole may appear and suck me in. Peter didn't care, he threw the boots on the sand and he was jogging along the waterline. It was a brilliant scene, watching him being happy.

"We spent a lot of time here last time," Peter said. I was crossing my arms when I approached, and I smiled. I wanted Peter to be happy, simple as that.

"Hey," I called, Peter turned around.

"Get in the water please."

"I don't want to," I said. "Is there a river nearby?"

Peter pointed high up at the hills, "There was one there, we've been near last time."

I couldn't see any trace of the river on the green hills and pastures. "Is it called River Thames?"

The sun made it difficult to figure out Peter's facial expression, but I saw his brows drawn together.

"River Thames is in London, near the Big Ben," Peter said.

"Where is it? Can you show me?" I asked. The name "Thames" kept coming in my head.

"It's in the other world. The one we came from," Peter said. "You said you were having what - a photo shoot - nearby. You said you fell into the river."

"I didn't."

"And we found you coming out from the sea next to the cave we came last time," Peter said. "You were soaked and you were -"

"I don't need to know that."

"No, it's great, keep thinking. You'll remember it. Think about River Thames and the other world, and then think about us," Peter stood close. My arms were crossed tighter.

"No, it's fine, just random thoughts."

"It's not," Peter said. "think about something else."

I thought about the dreams where I found Peter sitting on the roots of a tree and how hopeful he was. Peter had the same face right now.

"You've seen the stars with a girl," I said. "You were talking to the trees, weren't you?"

"That's right! Keep thinking and -"

"That's enough."

"Not enough! And -"

Peter walked closer and I was terrified. I was breathing very fast and I saw his mouth moving in front of me with silent words. I saw him and I saw his sword. He would take it out and slash me, wouldn't he? He could. He was a mean person. Peter grabbed my arm! His sword! His sword was what he would use next!

Peter's another hand found mine, and I pushed him off. I took his sword from his belt, and pointed at it at him. The sword sparkled under the sunlight and the reflection of the sea. I saw Peter's stunned face on it. I didn't want to hold the sword.

"Put it down, Ems," I heard his voice at last. "It's okay," Peter said.

I shook my head and a voice in my mind kept asking me to protect myself, that I had to hurt him to protect myself. I suddenly thought of kissing Peter, and how his arm on my back, and I thought of the River Thames and Peter's lies.

The sword was very heavy but I pushed it forward. I dropped it as soon as I saw something red and ran back into the woods. I didn't go in and I sat under the tree's shadow and I cried. Peter could walk, I knew, very slowly though.

"Emma..."

Peter made his way towards me faster than I thought he could, and I ran to the other end of the lagoon. I ran.

"Susan! Ed!" Peter shouted into the woods and I dared not to look back. I knew I would bandage him if I looked back. I ran and it hurt to know that I wanted to leave not because of missing Damien.

Something brownish moved in front of me and there was no more lagoon. The tree roots webbed in front of me, blocking me from a further journey. I didn't fight them because it was useless.

I saw Peter panting and groaning, how could I walk away? I turned around and wanted to approach him. A troop of centaurs led by Edmund came out of nowhere. The centaur put the injured Peter at their back and one flashed a sword at me. Edmund shook his head and lowered the centaur's sword with his hand. The troop returned to the woods.

I turned around and wiped the water off my face.

"Emma," it was Edmund. "We need to go back."

"I'm not Duchess Grace," I stated. "I almost killed someone. Now you have all the proof you need to execute me, my lord."

"Let's go back and are you hungry?" Edmund asked. Edmund walked behind me, I heard him thanking the tree roots. We went back to the tent area and people stopped working. A little girl with honey coloured hair held her teddy, and stared at me when all her other friends ran off to the other side of the woods.

"Say hi to Kate," I heard Edmund mumble behind me.

I felt like a sinner. Edmund gave me a light push at the back and we went into his tent. The girl, Kate, left. There Peter's bed was. I was haunted by how empty it was. I was a sinner.

"Peter's in the healing tent," Edmund said. "Here," He gave me a tray, "I haven't had breakfast yet. Share?"

I stared at the toast.

"Why don't you sit with me?" Edmund put his cape and silvery crown on Peter's bed and I saw down. I ate quietly.

"Do you want to tell me?" Edmund asked next to me. Lights were filling in the tents through the gaps of the tent. It landed on the soft grass.

"What can I say?"

"Tell me why you did that," Edmund had me a cup of cold water.

"Did I kill him?"

"No, just injured the side of his chest. Nothing serious," Edmund replied.

"Don't you think I'd do the same to you? Are you not scared?" I asked.

Edmund shrugged only.

"I am," I said. Edmund looked at me and he moved his hand. He dropped it though.

"What's passed is the past," Edmund said.

"Except I don't really know it," I said. "or feel it."

"Maybe you don't have to," Edmund said. "There're many things we don't know. Like why you're here, why you're with Peter and why you hurt everyone here."

I hugged my knees and Edmund left. He said he had a patrol duty.

I couldn't go far, but I wanted to. Just leave here.

I stayed in the tent and a red hair girl came in. Queen Lucy was the name and she sat with me for a while. She didn't talk much but she said something about a mouse called Reep praising me for helping them back in Sire Jordan's.

I smiled lightly at her, it was the only thing I felt appropriate doing.

"You haven't had lunch," she said.

"I did."

"For Aslan's sake you've been hiding here for the entire day!" Lucy said.

"Can you sneak me out of here?"

"I'm not going to. I have to bring supper to Peter and why don't you do that instead? He's in the last tent of the healing area," Lucy paused. "He'd like to see you. But what's happened? Ed wouldn't tell anyone even after Susan threatened him."

I just shook my head. I was more grateful of Edmund than I'd allow myself. We went out when the night had fallen. People were eating soup and bread, chatted about the day. They were still hopeful, it resembled to so many faces that I'd seen before.

I saw the soup tottering and I realised my hands were shaking. I saw Peter, half naked, sitting on the bed. There was bandages on the lower part of his chest. I breathed slowly and went in.


End file.
